THREAT LEVEL FIVE
This is the most insidious, malignant threat we might have to face as a nation.
Foreign forces, bent on our destruction, using political double-talk to make our own indiginous population feel that they have, in some unnamed way, in the past few centuries, been treated badly by the United States Federal Government.
Crazy as such a scheme might first appear, there are subversive political elements within our society whose minds have been so warped and damaged by the institution of what is shamefully refered to as "Higher Education", that such evil views could conceivably gain a foothold in our nation's conscious.
Law enforcement agents are encouraged to investigate any off-white appearing individuals, or anyone voicing complex political affiliations.
Citizens should be alert, but continue to go about their normal daily spending activities.